Choosing schools and how to have sleepless nights

How can we get back to the days of worrying about which diaper would least chafe our darlings’ perfect tushes, how to treat skinned knees, and at what age we could allow them their first taste of honey? For the record I never followed any feeding rules. My kids tried Roquefort and honey long before the experts deemed they were of age. Some rules just bug me.

Those of you with children under 8, enjoy these years and their relatively simple concerns. Once your kids are pre or full-blown adolescents those carefree years will be akin to a hazy, summer memory. There are decisions ahead that will cause sleeplessness. And possibly inebriated evenings.

D and I are working out where to send Bou to school next year. Where he is now can at times wreak havoc with our family schedule. It is an academically good choice although it lacks the extracurricular activities that can make the secondary school years memorable. It’s decent, but is it decent enough to warrant a 1-hour drive there and back twice a day? That’s right I’m the sucker who drives 2 hours every day to get her kid to school. So why choose it to begin with?

The Pros

1. It is a French language secondary school, grades 7 through 12. Both our kids have attended French schools since JK.
2. It’s a small school and when any social issues arise, like bullying, they are quickly spotted and stopped.
3. No getting lost in the shuffle.
4. Parents were promised that a brand spanking new school was being built forthwith. We’re now at a completion date of 2014 at the earliest. Lovely.
5. His elementary school friends all attend.

The Cons

1. We’re not in the zone. The ‘we’ll pick your kid up and bring him home’ zone.
2. Which means a 30-minute drive every morning to get him there. Through perpetual construction zones. Not the zones I was hoping for.
3. Then a repeat in the afternoon.
4. Because the school is small there are no, or very limited, team sports and clubs. This means no participation in tournament, track meets, cross-country running, music groups – or any other groups.

I find myself doing something I despise – wanting to make it all safe and cosy for him. Usually I tout adventure, self-reliance, and getting back up after falling flat. I was not the mother who ran to pick her kids up when they fell and got a booboo. Massive blood loss and I was all over it, but never for a scraped elbow. I talk a good game, but in this case I’m wilting.

And why? Because he’s still my little man! All almost 13 years of him, and the idea of Bou all alone in a ginormous, petrifying school with 1000s of nasty orcs who will pick on him and try to lure him down the wrong path with promises of candy like the witch from Hänsel and Gretel…freaks. me. out. Maybe I read too much. Never mind that he’s a confident boy who makes friends easily, that he has a fairly well-defined sense of self, and that his moral compass point north. He may be ready for a bigger world, but Maman is not.

That’s the problem with being a parent. One minute you’re holding their hands to help them walk and the next they’re off on an adventure without you. The best you can hope for is that they have the strength to happily greet what comes their way. Also that they’ve paid attention to all the wisdom oozing out of every one of our pores.

So here is our solution for the next school year, leave him where he is. BUT…we didn’t choose this out of fear. There’s been a new development and we’re waiting to see if the promised other option will open its doors in 2013. Until then I drive to the little school and the big school can back the hell away from my kid. At least until he’s one year older.